diff --git a/zephyr/lib/bugdown/__init__.py b/zephyr/lib/bugdown/__init__.py
index 20e872b307..ca8c0ca4d7 100644
--- a/zephyr/lib/bugdown/__init__.py
+++ b/zephyr/lib/bugdown/__init__.py
@@ -86,39 +86,6 @@ class Gravatar(markdown.inlinepatterns.Pattern):
             % (gravatar_hash(match.group('email')),))
         return img
 
-# We first map syntax of the form ":)" to the ":smile:" syntax, and
-# then map syntax of the form ":foo:" to the emoji named "foo".
-smiley_to_emoji = {
-    # We're somewhat restrained here, to avoid false positives
-    ":-)" : "blush",  # This is a very weird coopting of the blush emoticon, but the normal
-    ":)"  : "blush",  # smile was so smiley that it became indistinguishable from grin.
-    ":-(" : "worried",
-    ":("  : "worried",
-    ";-)" : "wink",
-    ";)"  : "wink",
-    ":-P" : "stuck_out_tongue",
-    ":-p" : "stuck_out_tongue",
-    ":P"  : "stuck_out_tongue",
-    ":p"  : "stuck_out_tongue",
-    ":-*" : "kissing_closed_eyes",
-    ":*"  : "kissing_closed_eyes",
-    "8-)" : "sunglasses",
-    "8)"  : "sunglasses",
-    "O:-)": "innocent",
-    "O:)" : "innocent",
-    "o:-)": "innocent",
-    "o:)" : "innocent",
-    ":-/" : "confused",
-    ":/"  : "confused",
-    ":'(" : "cry",
-    ":-D" : "smiley",
-    ":D"  : "smiley",
-    ":-|" : "expressionless",
-    ":|"  : "expressionless",
-    "<3"  : "heart",
-    }
-smiley_regex = '|'.join([re.escape(face) for face in smiley_to_emoji])
-
 path_to_emoji = os.path.join(os.path.dirname(__file__), '..', '..',
                              # This should be zephyr/
                              'static', 'third', 'gemoji', 'images', 'emoji', '*.png')
@@ -140,13 +107,6 @@ class Emoji(markdown.inlinepatterns.Pattern):
             return orig_syntax
         return make_emoji(name, orig_syntax)
 
-class Smiley(markdown.inlinepatterns.Pattern):
-    def handleMatch(self, match):
-        orig_syntax = match.group("syntax")
-        if orig_syntax not in smiley_to_emoji:
-            return orig_syntax
-        return make_emoji(smiley_to_emoji[orig_syntax], orig_syntax)
-
 def fixup_link(link):
     """Set certain attributes we want on every link."""
     link.set('target', '_blank')
@@ -303,7 +263,6 @@ class Bugdown(markdown.Extension):
 
         md.inlinePatterns.add('gravatar', Gravatar(r'!gravatar\((?P<email>[^)]*)\)'), '_begin')
         md.inlinePatterns.add('emoji', Emoji(r'(?<!\S)(?P<syntax>:[^:\s]+:)(?!\S)'), '_begin')
-        md.inlinePatterns.add('smileys', Smiley(r'(?<!\S)(?P<syntax>' + smiley_regex + r')(?!\S)'), '_begin')
         md.inlinePatterns.add('link', LinkPattern(markdown.inlinepatterns.LINK_RE, md), '>backtick')
 
         # markdown.inlinepatterns.Pattern compiles this with re.UNICODE, which
diff --git a/zephyr/tests.py b/zephyr/tests.py
index c0981ff08f..d713278143 100644
--- a/zephyr/tests.py
+++ b/zephyr/tests.py
@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@ from zephyr.tornadoviews import json_get_updates, api_get_messages
 from zephyr.decorator import RespondAsynchronously, RequestVariableConversionError
 from zephyr.lib.initial_password import initial_password, initial_api_key
 from zephyr.lib.actions import do_send_message, gather_subscriptions
-from zephyr.lib.bugdown import convert, emoji_list, smiley_to_emoji
+from zephyr.lib.bugdown import convert, emoji_list
 
 import simplejson
 import subprocess
@@ -1954,26 +1954,13 @@ xxxxxxx</strong></p>\n<p>xxxxxxx xxxxx xxxx xxxxx:<br>\n<code>xxxxxx</code>: xxx
                        (':whale:', emoji_img(':whale:')),
                        (':fakeemoji:', ':fakeemoji:'),
                        (':even faker smile:', ':even faker smile:'),
-                       # Smileys
-                       (':)', emoji_img(':)', 'blush')),
-                       (';)', emoji_img(';)', 'wink')),
-                       ('8)', emoji_img('8)', 'sunglasses')),
-                       ('o:)', emoji_img('o:)', 'innocent')),
-                       ('<3', emoji_img('&lt;3', 'heart')),
-                       (':(', emoji_img(':(', 'worried')),
-                       ('x<3', 'x&lt;3')]
+                       ]
 
         # Check every single emoji
         for img in emoji_list:
             emoji_text = ":%s:" % img
             test_cases.append((emoji_text, emoji_img(emoji_text)))
 
-        # Check every single smiley
-        for smiley, emoji in smiley_to_emoji.iteritems():
-            # Fixup for <3
-            smiley_escaped_text = smiley.replace('<', '&lt;')
-            test_cases.append((smiley, emoji_img(smiley_escaped_text, emoji)))
-
         for input, expected in test_cases:
             self.assertEqual(convert(input), '<p>%s</p>' % expected)
 
@@ -1981,7 +1968,7 @@ xxxxxxx</strong></p>\n<p>xxxxxxx xxxxx xxxx xxxxx:<br>\n<code>xxxxxx</code>: xxx
         msg = 'test :smile: again :poop:\n:) foo:)bar x::y::z :wasted waste: :fakeemojithisshouldnotrender:'
         converted = convert(msg)
         self.assertEqual(converted, '<p>test ' + emoji_img(':smile:') + ' again ' + emoji_img(':poop:') + '<br>\n'
-                                  + emoji_img(':)', 'blush') + ' foo:)bar x::y::z :wasted waste: :fakeemojithisshouldnotrender:</p>')
+                                  + ':) foo:)bar x::y::z :wasted waste: :fakeemojithisshouldnotrender:</p>')
 
 
     def test_multiline_strong(self):